Have you ever had so much to be thankful for that you just felt guilty for wanting more...or for being even a little discontent? Yeah, me too...that's the way i have been feeling lately, like maybe I'm not getting enough living out of life. There is so much I want to do, and so much to experience...so many places I want to go and to see.
For instance when we did our Red Day 2009 Campaign with Keller Williams I was forced to take a look at how much I'm NOT doing in my community. I was actually humbled and ecstatic to be doing something so simple as giving blood...for me that was no easy thing, since I have a major fear of needles...so it felt good, because for ME that WAS a sacrificial gift. I want to do more, I want to BE more. If any of you, my friends have ideas of ways we can get involved and really make a difference, let me know...I'm on board! One idea I have been throwing around is knitting...I know, get me a rocking chair, haha! But seriously, I don't want to knit my husband a sweater for Christmas or anything like that, but what about knitting nice warm scarves and hats for homeless shelters or churchs that have "clothing banks"? (Not to mention I have a thing for cute/funky/unique scarves, but that is beside the point, lol)
So my discontent isn't completely selfish...but part of it is! I watch, read and hear about all these fantastic adventures...places I have never been, experiences I have never had...and I don't wish that anyone else NOT get to experience them, I just want to as well...I guess that is part of human nature. When I am old, I probably won't know what kind of car I drove in 2009, or how many bedrooms I had in my house...but I would love to look back and see that my life was lived...
I think that is what we were meant to do...live the life we have been given. I thank the Lord everyday for all he has blessed me with, I have an amazing husband, 3 beautiful and healthy children, a roof over my head and food on the table every day, several times as a matter of fact...If I never see Rome, if I never relax on a white sandy beach, I will still have what matters...My relationship with Christ, my family, my friends, and at least for today...my health.
But Rome would be nice... ;)
Much love to all of you, thanks for taking the time to read...
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Adrienne,
ReplyDeletePeople who are instilled with drive, determination, goals often find themselves in a state of discontent. Is this a selfish behavior? Maybe, at times but not always.
There are times in our lives when we stop and ask, "what am I doing?" "Is this what I'm supposed to be doing?" "Am I doing this for the right reasons?"
These phases come along at different times in our lives and sometimes stops us right in our tracks. They are natural. We find this as we mature and grow older. We gain different perspectives and start pondering on ideas that may not have meant much to us when we were younger.
As for fun and adventure, I empathize with your situation. For years, I listened to the journeys of friends and family and wanted them to be my own. Be patient, it will eventually happen. In the mean time, create some adventures near home. A picnic with your husband and kids. A night out with only your hubby. Be creative and you'll find it helps with the discontent. And keep reading and writing. You'll find a lot of creative ideas in books and writting just keeps you sane.
Have you tried your local library regarding volunteer work? They are always looking for help. Reading at children's hour would be a blast! Plus, you'd be great at it.